When Amy and I embarked on writing the Good Enough book, we had no idea what we were getting into, or how many women were impacted by feelings of self-doubt. As a result, we connected with over 350 women to take the pulse of this “not good enough” issue.
For each of us, it is different. For some, it can raise its ugly head when we are offered a new opportunity, and we start to question whether we are up to the task at hand. I’ve often compared this to motherhood like when you take home that new baby, all excited, full of joy … and scared stiff. What have you done?
With motherhood, there is no going back. You are it. But in the rest of your life, you do have some choices. We did ask women if they had an exciting opportunity would they take the risk, and sadly 73 percent said no. Why? Because they felt they wouldn’t succeed, weren’t good enough or didn’t deserve it.
You can see how self-doubt can hold us back. It can trap us into staying small, instead of becoming who we are meant to be.
Comparison is another enemy. Women told us that they felt judged, but guess who by … ourselves. We are busy comparing ourselves to others, and we don’t measure up. Social media doesn’t help as we see other people having a perfect life.
And talking of perfection, stop. Settling for imperfect is just fine because as we invest energy striving for perfection, we lose something along the way and in the process exhaust ourselves. Which brings us to one of our other findings – with the fast pace of life, the demands placed on us and being on and available 24/7 many of us feel overwhelmed.
Our childhood, how we were raised also makes a big difference in what we believe about ourselves and those roots run deep and can take longer to unravel. Life situations like divorce or looking after ageing parents can also test us, leading us to feel like we’ve somehow failed because we’re not managing it all.
All of this to say, not feeling good enough is a complex issue. We get good at wearing a mask, and hiding behind it, so no one really knows how we feel. And it isn’t all the time, it can be certain situations that trigger it. I know for myself it is when people start talking about their degrees and studies at university, because I don’t have one and didn’t go there, I feel less.
None of us immune. But we can do something about it and that is why we are offering an all-day workshop on March 3 to help women reclaim and rediscover themselves. We have an amazing line up of speakers and professional coaches, lending their expertise so you leave feeling good enough and ready to unleash your brilliance on the world. Check it out at www.companyofwomen.ca
Company of Women
I have had an eclectic career from running non-profit organizations and being editor of a national magazine, to working for government on women’s issues. In 2003 I launched Company of Women, an organization that supports women in business. A prolific blogger, I also write for the Huffington Post, and several other online publications. I am the author of five books on women and entrepreneurship, and co-author of Good Enough. Embrace who you are. Unleash your brilliance. which is available on amazon.ca In June, 2016 I launched Full Circle Publishing offering one-stop services to get your words out into the world.