Confession time. I love to escape into a juicy murder mystery or thriller. I totally switch off from my day-to-day life and spend my time trying to guess “who done it.”

 I have just finished a book, that will remain nameless, where half way through all the suppositions I had made about a character were wrong, and the twist in the story was that the two opposing characters were actually one and the same person.

 Now this threw me for a loop. I’d grown attached to the main character, and now I find she’s not who I thought she was, and I felt like packing the book in. But I persevered. 

 You may be wondering where I am going with this, but my point is that sometimes it’s like that with the people we know, or the clients we take on. 

 We make assumptions about them and their lives, and then find out we were wrong. Perhaps the person has more challenges than we thought and deserves our support and empathy, or he is not the “nice” person we thought he was, leaving you feeling used and abused.

 Just like in reading the book, perhaps we need to pause, reflect on what we’ve learned, give a second chance if we want and then with our eyes wide open, decide if we want to continue with the relationship.

 I did finish the book. Did I like the ending? Not really.  No one was who they said they were and to be honest, I questioned the time I spent reading the book.

 And that can happen in real life too. We get involved in a project, put our heart and soul into it, but suddenly warning bells go off. People are not who we thought they were. The goals of those involved are too diverse to make it work.  There are no shared values.  And the project is going nowhere. 

 When that happens, my advice is stop. See what you can salvage and then walk away. Often our pride and ego get in the way, but far better to leave than be stuck in the mire, unable to move, even if you wanted to.

 As I learned from the book, once trust is gone it is hard to win it back and sometimes sticking it out to the bitter end just isn’t worth it.

Anne Day

Anne Day

Company of Women

I have had an eclectic career from running non-profit organizations and being editor of a national magazine, to working for government on women’s issues. In 2003 I launched Company of Women, an organization that supports women in business. A prolific blogger, I also write for the Huffington Post, and several other online publications. I am the author of five books on women and entrepreneurship, and co-author of Good Enough. Embrace who you are. Unleash your brilliance. which is available on In June, 2016 I launched Full Circle Publishing offering one-stop services to get your words out into the world.