Are you an introvert, extrovert or an ambivert? When you read Stephanie Thoma’s book Confident Introvert, you gain a better understanding of which personality style fits you best.

I think I am an ambivert as there are occasions when I love being with people, and other times when I welcome time alone to think and reflect. Stephanie calls those times a solitude sandwich, something she encourage us all to do – be it meditation, switching off the computer or taking a walk in nature.

Her premise is that no matter whether you are an extrovert or introvert, it is our confidence levels that we need to work on, so networking comes more naturally to us .

Her description of Slimy Stan made me smile – I am sure we have all met the type –whizzing around an event handing out cards to all and sundry and taking no interest in you as a person.

But that’s not networking.

She provides several strategies to change our game, starting with an accomplishment journal where you write down three things that have happened that day, no matter how small.

But she doesn’t duck away from the darker side and suggests you make a list of what you believe you are not good at, and then ask yourself if in fact that’s true. It’s about reframing our thought process, so we feel more confident about ourselves.

She describes networking as like a scavenger hunt through which you and the person you have met work to find what you have in common, and when you do and there is a fit, you win the prize – a new, worthwhile connection.

I know my preference with in-person networking, is to settle in and get to know one or two people. Online is more challenging and she has a whole section devoted to networking online.

She also provides effective strategies to get yourself out there, as well as conversation-starter scripts and follow up tips to keep you connected once the connection has been established. And if your LinkedIn profile needs fine-tuning, she gives some pointers on where to start.

Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert I’d highly recommend this book as it provides practical tips on getting yourself out there. It would be particularly helpful for the university or college graduate looking for their first position or the new entrepreneur looking for customers, but it’s a useful read no matter what stage you are at in your career or business.

And exciting news, Stephanie will be talking about online networking for Company of Women on November 4 at 1 pm EST. With the COVID-19 pandemic it is likely we will all be networking online for the near future.

Anne Day

Anne Day

Company of Women

I have had an eclectic career from running non-profit organizations and being editor of a national magazine, to working for government on women’s issues. In 2003 I launched Company of Women, an organization that supports women in business. A prolific blogger, I also write for the Huffington Post, and several other online publications. I am the author of five books on women and entrepreneurship, and co-author of Good Enough. Embrace who you are. Unleash your brilliance. which is available on In June, 2016 I launched Full Circle Publishing offering one-stop services to get your words out into the world.