When I worked at the parent-child centre I remember a young mother whose baby was stillborn. She was devastated. Yet some insensitive souls took it upon themselves to pass on the comment, that she was young and could always have another baby.
I am sure they meant well, but words like that kind of dismiss and ignore those feelings of grief and loss of the child she would never hold in her arms and never see grow up. It is a loss on so many fronts – a loss of her dream, a loss of her hopes for the future and a loss of love.
I am reminded of this when I read the outcry of fury in social media at the parents whose child died after being left in their car. Let’s be clear, this was not an intentional move and they will have to live with this mistake for the rest of their lives.
This is not the time for blame, shame and guilt.
It is a time for compassion.
This is a tragedy that has fallen upon a couple who likely will never recover. We don’t know what happened, so we speculate and those with meaner minds, start to criticize and hurl abuse at the family.
Is this helpful? Will this bring the child back? Will this move the family towards remotely healing from their loss? No.
Put yourself in their shoes. Can you imagine how you would feel if your child died as a result of a mistake you made? I start to tear up just at that thought.
I am sure many of us have “mislaid” our children at one time or another, and can remember those feelings of guilt and panic, followed quickly by relief and overwhelming love when we’ve found our missing children.
I realize this is a bit different, but my point is that it was a mistake, a tragic mistake so instead of bad-mouthing the family, let’s be supportive. Let’s give them space to heal and try to get on with their lives, as best they can.
Company of Women
I have had an eclectic career from running non-profit organizations and being editor of a national magazine, to working for government on women’s issues. In 2003 I launched Company of Women, an organization that supports women in business. A prolific blogger, I also write for the Huffington Post, and several other online publications. I am the author of five books on women and entrepreneurship, and co-author of Good Enough. Embrace who you are. Unleash your brilliance. which is available on amazon.ca In June, 2016 I launched Full Circle Publishing offering one-stop services to get your words out into the world.